This topic is so important and close to my heart that I revisit it in my latest podcast episode.
Tune in here.
During the pandemic, we did a podcast on finding your tribe with my friend Nancy Treder, fellow working mom and girlfriend of over 13 yrs. We talked about having good people around us that we can rely on for emotional support as well as help with raising our kids I'll link episode that podcast in the show notes. I’ve had other moms, entrepreneurs, clients, girlfriends and trainers that have walked beside me as I went through rough patches and celebrated great milestones. During my fitness competition I gravitated towards competitors that were working parents that had a healthy balance in fitness life and making healthy foods for my family . My community provided the has given me the best advice and held space for my mistakes, and nurtured me when I needed some love. I grew up with tough love, so I tended to be a more demanding of my self and got good at compartmentalizing. I don’t have family in Seattle, so I’ve built relationships here with people who have become my family. I’m very grateful for them- and for you! I most recently traveled to the Bahamas and was reminded of how blessed I am. My village and community came through once more!
My husband's mother came to town so stay with Sofia while we were gone. We chose to have kids later in life, so as some of you know, we have aging parents that can’t really drive or take on all the responsibilities of caring for our high school senior who’s hardly home, an independent, strong-willed first grader, and a not to mention sick pup at home with a list of medications to take on a schedule. That in itself can deter me from traveling! But our marriage and time together is important, so I have learned to ask for what I need: help. I’m not shy about it either. I have been through enough to teach me that I don't have to do it all.
While we were gone, our next door neighbors walked our dog, Earl, in the morning. Another neighbor took Sofia to and from school. Other friends were on site working on the studio construction and checked up on and walked Earl in the afternoon. They would even send us photos to ease our worries. My girlfriend, Veronica, picked up Sofia and took her to the bouldering project for weekly class. And another neighbor, Annie, checked on grandma's mental health during the week. Grandma does not drive or text, so we got Sofia set up on the iPad to be able to communicate, under supervision. Thank God for technology when it works like this!
So you see friends, it works if you are willing to give and receive. Your tribe is the community you make. It is the village that helps raise your kids. When our neighbors moved away, it was devastating; our kids have known each other since birth to 7yrs. But how we make plans to see each other and keep our connection strong. They are just a call, text, or post card away and now zoom meeting.
When our new neighbors moved in, I took them a bottle of wine and some food to welcome them to the neighborhood. I also gave them my number and said, “If you see my daughter or my dog out walking themselves, please call me!” We watch each other’s houses, celebrate milestones, and take care of each other's kids.
I thank you for the bottom of mi corazon. If you do not know how reach out or ask for help, it ok hear my story and how I learned how and I'm always integrating new people.
I grew up in a large Mexican family of 11- that was my first community. Coming from a different generation, and having parents who didn't finish high school, My mother's teaching for us was that finishing high school and getting married, those were the goals to aspire to. "Marry a man that will take care of you," I detoured from that advice as watched my mother in her third marriage, still struggling to survive. Most of my siblings are on their 2 and 3rd marriages. I was the youngest, and I had a different take on life and always challenged the status quo. Sometimes what were are taught does not fit us anymore. We as people evolve and grow. I moved out at 14 yrs old. I had a great community of social workers and friends that found me a place to live and gave me emotional support. I saw in them the lives and love I wanted. They had a purpose is seeing me successed!
I realized I had to leave the small town I was from to have better choices. It took courage to make new decisions. My mother didn't her talk for me for 3 years. So I spent a lot of time aIone. We was great, I finally had my own room and space physically and literally. I no longer had someone telling how to live. I could create it and make my own mistakes along the way. That was my first rite of passage I learned that education provided better options for a career. I saw my friends' parents, who did go to college, living a different sort of life than my parents did. When I got to college, I realized that I loved to learn, and I was surrounded by people who felt the same. I found my tribe. My psychology class opened my eyes-it was my favorite because it explained that people's belief systems are different. I had a great sociology professor who was white but spoke better Spanish then I did at the time because of his travels. At that point, I had only been to one other state. So I decided to study abroad in Jalisco, Mexico, and learned about my history and hung out with people from all parts of the world. I thrived in this environment, and I realized that I had to have a career that involved working with people.
I grew up really fast and had big responsibilities at a young age, like a lot of immigrant families do. I knew could accomplish a lot. I actually had to learn to relax and take a break. Let's just say I became more childlike in my 20s after I worked out all of my trauma with some therapy. I got to do the activities I missed out on as a child like sports and travel. I competed in fitness competition and travel a lot of the world. A lot of my older clients have become my mamas, and professional clients have become my project managers for business, house renovations, and community. So you see, where ever I went, I built a community around me of like-minded people who are continuing to grow and challenge themself on every level physically spiritually and mentally. Some of the situations that required me to ask for help were starting a new career, a new business, marriage and becoming an instant mom and wife at the same time, parenting a new born, starting a podcast! I took advice where I could get it- and when I didn't listen, I suffered- so I like to ask for help now! I also realized people like to help as well.
I most recently took a Chakra, Energy and Healing classes with some wonderful ladies that are now my tribe in personal growth arena. We remind each other to use the tools we learned these last 2 years. We can process life and keep each other from revert back to old patterns. We help each other integrate this stuff into our daily lives. The world doesn't always model accountability or responsibility. We created a community to hold space for each other without judgment so we stay committed ourselves. That way we can be free to be and create. Not blame and react. We can also spread that into other parts of the our other communities. In the process I learned a lot about financial freedom, and express our authenticity, voicing my feelings, concerns and needs. I learned why I love to create and service my communities. I also learned that unconditional love doesn't mean you are a door mat. Setting and having boundaries are important. I created what I didn't have as a child. I understand more about compassion and mercy. As one of my friends quoted, "The miracle of mercy is giving what you never got." It's also receiving and letting people show you love we all deserve.
So get rid of the extra pounds of our expectations or limiting beliefs and give what you want in return.
Gracias mi gente!
Brought to You by Adriana
Living the good, fit life in Seattle, WA. Stay tuned for more bilingual fitness tips and nutritious recipes.